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LITTLE BROTHER
I sneak behind the door to hear him say,
“Did you build on it?” He talks to one of his numerous friends,
and I am jealous of the easy, carefree life he leads.
“Wait, did they see you?” he asks with nervous excitement.
I wonder what he’s up to now.
I call to him as he’s about to leave the house.
“Where are you going?” I ask with wonderment disguised with
an older sister responsibility in my voice.
I hear him rip quickly down the hall, and he appears in my room,
His blue and red beanie pulled over his long, wavy light brown hair.
His freckles stick out on his cute nose and I realize
How much of a hunk the seventh-grade girls must think he is.
“Just out with friends,” he replies with a deep huskiness in his voice,
gone unnoticed by me until now. His boyishness seems to fade,
And I see a young man in front of me that needs direction
And someone to look up to. Little brother, do you look up to me at all?
You’re so different than me.
Your days and nights are full of paintballing cars passing by,
t.p.ing, ding-dong ditching, sneaking out, making tree forts,
and doing all the things boys becoming men
take pride in doing.
You watch me, occupied
With the everyday responsibilities of my busy life.
You come to a few softball and volleyball games and tournaments,
Watch me sing at my competitions,
And tell me to be quiet when I’m sneaking in more singing practice past 9.
You watch my faith in God grow and you know that I won’t ever drink
Until I’m 21 or date until I know it’s the right time.
You know I’m a determined girl, and at this moment
I don’t regret what I’ve done but wonder
If I need to let go more, have more time
To have no obligations and take in the little things in life,
Like you do.
Life is exciting and unpredictable for you.
I ask you, “So what are you going to be doing with your friends?”
You reply, “nothing,” nonchalantly, as you turn to walk out my bedroom door.
You walk on towards freedom and uninhibited life.
I turn back to my busy life, and wonder,
What am I accomplishing? Is this the life I want to have?
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